Book Review

The likelihood that everyone will, at some time during their lifetime experience events involving death, loss and grief is inescapable. Much has been written and theorized regarding occurrences that cause such havoc in the human experience, especially for survivors. The book WE HAVE FEELINGS TOO deals with the existential crisis one woman and others struggled with in trying to cope following the sudden death of her beloved husband as they joyfully prepare to celebrate their twentieth wedding anniversary. In psychology this type of crisis refers to “a form of inner conflict characterized by feelings that life has lost its meaning, a freedom to choose, stress, anxiety and isolation all of which disrupts normal functioning” often leading to depression. The author of this unique and humane book, Sociologist Joan M. Hill, Ph.D., uses her expertise and philosophical insights to chronicle some of the varied phases the characters struggle with as a means of dealing with the loss and grief. Feelings of shock, anger, separation, denial and withdrawal are also commonplace following an unexpected loss. Using poetry, sensitivity and research Dr. Hill is successful in achieving a level of understanding that is soothing to the reader despite the traumatic impact of death and the challenges of the grief process. As a Medical Social Worker/Supervisor whose career has spanned over thirty-five years, in hospitals and clinics, I heartily endorse this book based upon actual contacts with both professionals and those who struggle with the stresses and dynamics of death and loss. I believe there is no one concrete or guaranteed approach to this life changing phenomenon. However, with caring and sensitivity along with compassion there can be readjustments and acceptance. Finally, what I found especially unique about this book was the combination of the theories and personal reactions of the characters as they moved from the initial stages of grief, to the mourning stages and then to final readjustnents. It is significant to note that once the widow was able to reconnect with others in her support system, such as her family, her church, public resources and friends, the process of healing began. The material included in WE HAVE FEELINGS TOO! Is A MUST READ document which will enlighten and warm the heart resulting in a more positive understanding of the final stages of life as we know it. The realization for survivors must be that life can go on, and that one can remember the past but must live for the future This is a valuable lesson for everyone who will likely be touched by this experience.